SAT写作满分范文鉴赏(4) Essay题目选自The Official SAT Study Guide Avail Practice Test 4

Prompt

Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and assignment below.

The old saying, "be careful what you wish for," may be an appropriate warning. The drive to archive a particular goal can dangerously narrow one's perspective and encourage the fantasy that success in one endeavor will solve all of life's difficulties. In fact, success can sometimes have unexpected consequences. Those who propel themselves toward the achievement of one goal often find that their lives are worse once "success" is achieved than they were before.

Assignment

Can success be disastrous? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your readings, studies, experience, and observations.

Sample Essay - Score of 6 SAT写作6分范文

The power of success can be disastrous when placed in the wrong hands. Naturally, there are those who will always choose to manipulate conditions to succeed in their own endeavors, not taking into consideration the lives of those around them. On the other hand, there may be those who do not necessarily pursue selfish ends, but simply do not know where to take success once it has been achieved, thus resulting in their own self-sabotage.

Throughout history, we have seen success used wrongfully in the hands of the unworthy. Powerful leaders of nations, kingdoms, and empires, having succeeded in gaining leadership, have then used their influence wrongfully in achieving their own selfish (and sometimes twisted) goals. Nero, the Roman emperor who beat his pregnant wife to death and has been suspected of instigating the great fire of Rome in an attempt to boost his own political influence. Henry VIII of England, for whom women were beheaded for not bearing him a son, and who is rumored to have eaten eight chickens a night while English peasants starved. The notorious Ferdinand and Isabella of Spain, who carried out the Spanish Inquisition. The list is endless. Even in literature, we see the corruption and downfall of society and mankind as a whole as a result of the abuse of success in the possession of those who do not deserve it, as seen in William Shakespeare’s tragedy of King Lear. In the story, societal order is replaced with chaos when there is a power shift from Lear to his evil daughters, Regan and Goneril. This order only returns to a slight degree when virtue (in the form of Lear’s good daughter, Cordelia) returns to England. Success is hazardous when awarded to the unvirtuous.

However, there may be those who are not necessarily evil of greedy in their pursuits, but merely do not know how to handle success. This proves to be just more disastrous to the individual than to anyone else, since it is the individual who will then sabotage his own success to return to his former comfort zone. Success is meant to be grown upon, not exploited or feared.

Success, when achieved by the unworthy or inexperienced, is a most disastrous element. Success is not about being happy at the expense of those about you Cit is about using one’s newly gained happiness to improve the lives of others. If one reflects on the wise words of Ralph Waldo Emerson, one will never go astray: “To know that one person has breathed easier because you have lived -this is to have succeeded.”

Score Explanation SAT写作6分范文点评

This essay demonstrates outstanding critical thinking by insightfully developing the point of view that, while "there are those who will always choose to manipulate conditions to succeed in their own endeavors, not taking into consideration the lives of those around them," there are also "those who do not necessarily pursue selfish ends, but simply do not know where to take success once it has been achieved, thus resulting in their own self-sabotage." The essay effectively supports this position by first focusing on multiple clearly appropriate examples from history and literature of "success used wrongfully in the hands of the unworthy." By describing corrupt or abusive actions of Nero, Henry VIII, "Ferdinand and Isabella of Spain," and the fictional daughters of King Lear in Shakespeare’s play. The essay develops the idea that a historical pattern exists in which, after successfully "gaining leadership," "Powerful leaders…have then used their influence wrongfully in achieving their own selfish (and sometimes twisted) goals." The essay easily moves to discuss how success can be disastrous for "those who are not necessarily evil or greedy in their pursuits, but merely do not know how to handle success," and therefore "sabotage" their success to return to a "former comfort zone." Finally, the essay supports the writer's own definition of success, with the appropriate words of Ralph Waldo Emerson ("To know that one person has breathed easier because you have lived--this is to have succeeded"). This well-organized and clearly focused essay demonstrates coherence and smooth progression of ideas. The essay consistently demonstrates skillful use of language ("In the story, societal order is replaced with chaos when there is a power shift from Lear to his evil daughters, Regan and Goneril"). This essay demonstrates clear and consistent mastery and achieves the highest score of 6.